What the Hell?
by LilacAndViolets
Summary: Bella, after who knows how long, finally gets bored with Edward. Somewhat based off Avril Lavigne's song 'What the Hell'. Also, this is Anti-Edward.


**AN: I dedicate this story to my friend AntsPissMeOff. I've revised this a little and added a couple new sentences, T so it's a little different from what I sent you, and I hope it doesn't suck. This is anti-Edward so anyone who doesn't like Edward are welcome to read this.**

**Note to AntsPissMeOff: Hope you like it! And it's alright that you couldn't come over. I'm sorry that I can't come over too. Quits!**

=-=-= Bella, after who knows how long, finally started getting bored with Edward. =-=-=

Day 1 -

It's been a long time since I last saw Nessie, in a few years she had grown to be a teenager and went to college. When she finished, she traveled the world. She always did like exploring She helped people as a volunteer, helping others as a doctor, a scientist, a teacher and many other ways, I missed her dearly, her absence stood out and it felt so lonely without my sweet daughter.

Life here is SOOOOO boring without Nessie.

I bought this diary just to whine about it and you, my sweet new diary, are going to listen.

It's not like I loved Nessie around just to keep myself entertained, in fact I couldn't stand a day without her, it was just that she brought such mischief into the house. She brought life and made simple day unforgettable.

She left and took all of that sparkle with her.

Things here are falling into one stupid rhythm and I don't like it one bit. I can't do anything in here! I don't want to go shopping, I don't want to read (I finished off the bookstore a long time ago), and I do not want to reread anymore. There was the computer too but I couldn't find anything interesting with it.

Edward? Oh please. He's no fun anymore. He won't let me go traveling (some nomads were dangerous apparently), he won't let me go to amusement parks without his supervision and he won't let me go on my motorcycle. There was a time when he let me do all the fun stuff but now, he seems to have forgotten that I'm a vampire now. He doesn't let me do anything fun, despite the fact that I was now an almost invulnerable vampire with all the perks, and even it doesn't seem as good anymore.

He doesn't want to try anything new.

Just yesterday, he threw out some of my newest toys, saying that it was too...er...dirty for his little lamb and innocent little angel.

Jeez, did he ever catch up on the I-AM-NOT-AN-INNOCENT-LITTLE-ANGEL thing?

What?

Did you honestly think that I would be satisfied watching sparkles and looking at his face for all eternity?

- "BELLA!"

I snap my diary shut and stuff it in my bag just in time and look at Edward with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" I asked him coolly, knowing that all that 'love' I had for him was nothing but an echo of its former self and had long shrivelled away and marvelling that no one else knew. I'm pretty sure that 'love' had something to do with his face. He looked gorgeous then, his face made me describe him in my head every five seconds. Hormones

"I hope you weren't buying those dirty little toys today?" he told me and I just rolled my eyes.

He'd just throw them away anyway.

"I wasn't. I bought a few books (total lie), some new clothes ( again lie) and a notebook ( not a lie) to schedule the nomads visit."

He bobbed his head in appreciation. Obviously, he was pleased by my answer. "Good, now I hope you remember to never buy any of those toys again, they're disgusting." he shuddered as though I dunked him in a vat of icy water.

Prude.

Seriously, who does that?

"Edward, it's not tha-"

"Bella, stop that. I do not want to hear it. Stop messing with my decision it makes my head ache."

You say that I'm messing with your head eh? Then I will.

He must have noticed my expression because he backtracked.

"I only want what's best for you."

If that was the case then I wonder if I should have stayed human.

=-=-= Day 2 -

Love hurts, whether it is right or wrong.

I've taught myself that a long time ago but now I wonder if I ever really loved him. True, I felt sparks fly between us, I felt the passion that came with those eyes and I remember feeling I would give up the world for him.

But that was years ago, and all good things come to an end and that passion with Edward had long since disappeared along with all the fun I once had.

Wow, I'm ridiculously good at whining. Call me selfish ( for I am) but I wanted out.

Recently, I've began pranking the Cullens. Silly little pranks like mixing Rose' makeup (yes, she wears a little makeup) with enhanced super glue (which I doubt she'll notice), spray painting Alice's clothes in neon tones that seriously clashed with her skin, messing the engine of Emmett's car (just a little) etc. etc. Edward always catches me and always scolds me like I was a child.

Well... I can't stop cause I'm having too much fun.

Really I haven't laughed this much since Jacob left with Nessie.

Whoops! Edward's here! Later diary!

I look up from my diary and snap it tightly shut before securing it with a length of super-reinforced steel chain then lock it shut with a lock made of diamond coated super-reinforced steel then hide it in my safety box which was made of the same material as the lock and was not only password protected but also had voice recognition and a fingerprint scanner.

Even a vampire would find it near impossible to steal my diary.

Damn, I'm way too paranoid. But then again, I do not want Edward stalking my diary. Especially when he once stalked me as a human.

I might have found it romantic then but those were my hormones talking.

Now, Edward thinks I'm a little crazy for doing this but I showered the box with perfume. Rain scented perfume to be exact.

Edward, who had apparently entered when I started to shower it with perfume, cleared his throat.

He went on his knees and scooted next to me and frowned. "Are you sure you're still sane? Stay with me Bella! I know you miss Nessie but you don't need to go on a cult!" he exclaimed.

You're on your knees, begging me, stay with me. But I just need to be a little crazy.

So I chose my words carefully and looked at him straight in the eye. I've wanted to tell him this ever since Nessie had left but this was the perfect time to tell him .

I have had it.

" All my life I've been good but now...I'm thinking what the hell? All I want to is to mess around and I don't really care about...if you love me...if you hate me..you can't save me...I'm still young, I want my fun. I only went put with you because you were interesting." I explained, choosing the best words and trying not to laugh at the look on his face.

It was totally priceless. To add more insult I said these: " So what I go out on a million dates? .I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day! Don't get me wrong athough," I quickly added when I saw his jaw go down miles."I just need some time to play around."

Edward floundered around, looking for something to say before I started again "You're on your knees, begging please, stay with me but honestly I just need to be a little crazy. I'm not delusional Edward. Just finding you to be a little (total understatement, I though) controlling."

"Then you've got it." He snapped straight up and stared down at me, hard. "If you really wanted to use those toys of yours, then you're honestly crazy but you will not leave this house." he growled. I can't believe. He actually thinks it was because of the sex toys?

Has he been listening to anything I've said?

Jerk-ass.

I rolled my eyes, grabbed my box and practically teleported out of there with my speed.

"You say that I'm messing with your head, yeah I like messing in your bed (lie). Yeah, I'm messing with your head when I'm messing in your bed..." I taunted, just loud enough to be heard by his vampire hearing.

Well, long story short I stayed with him, because that's where I kept all my stuff, but I make sure to prank them all at least once a day and have started the pranking wars, mostly between Emmett and me. Everyone would join at least one prank war.

Everyone but Edward that is. It was okay because he's honestly a killjoy and I moved out of our house and moved to a comfortable flat in Los Angeles, where the Cullens moved to in a heartbeat after I left, and met with several nomads who eventually became my best friends along with the Cullens (aside from Edward). I'm gonna need more diaries with my new prank-crazy life.

Ya know, if I had known that a diary would cause all this then I should've bought one ages ago.

At least I have something to tell Jacob when he comes back.

**Yeah, I'm nuts. Twilight belongs to the wet dreamer S. Meyer. Please review. Eddy-kins lovers, not allowed. Independent Bella lovers welcome. Edward haters, read on.**


End file.
